Pregnant at 18, no job and have to move out. Help?

Question

I found out that I am expecting, 3+ weeks. My boyfriend is being very supportive and has been trying to buy a house for ages but can t afford it on his own. We ve only been a couple for a few months so we never discussed moving in together yet, although it would be easiest and save us both some money as we was both going to move out separately.
We ve decided to buy a house together. He has 9 grand saved for a deposit, I just need to get a job and save for some towards a deposit, then save for furniture, then baby stuff, and then maintain my job once the baby is born so I can pay my half on bills.
I m extremely worried and scared, I do want to move out and he is being so supportive and taking care of me, but this is all so fast. Buying a house, not renting, buying. He doesn t believe in renting as it s just throwing money away, and we re putting both of our names down on the house.
Can someone reassure me or help me understand about mortgages and taxes etc? He s older than me and knows a lot more about this sort of stuff.

Answer 1

Yeah very bad idea. #1) you barely know this guy, and you want to BUY a HOUSE with him? That just seems dumb #2) most people who barely know each other and get pregnant quickly very rarely stay together long term #3) you will need at least 6 weeks off when you have the baby, so you will have to have money saved for this #4) you will have to have child care for the baby - this is VERY expensive if you don't qualify for government help or make more than minimum wage. I would find a good apartment, and some help from the county or a roommate that is willing to live with a baby (that's going to be VERY hard as well) #5) How are you going to buy all of the necessities for your baby if you can barely afford the house right now?

Answer 2

I'm not surprised that you are scared. Being 18, unmarried and pregnant is scary enough. If, on top of that the father is someone you have known only for a few months, that is really bad. It sounds as if you are only doing this because of the baby. If you do not want to have an abortion, he does need to marry you. The reason is that marriage offers you far more legal protection in the event that things go wrong. For example; if you buy a house together when you are not married and the relationship breaks down, there is no simple mechanism to decide who moves out so generally it lands up being the one who earns least which would be you.



You say you are 18; what employment qualifications do you have? If you are on minimum wage, child care could cost more than you are making. Bottom line is that he needs to be making enough alone to cover the cost of housing and feeding both of you for this to work at least until your child is old enough to go to school. The general rule of thumb is that you can borrow up to 3 times your taxable income. Your wages will be ignored as you will have been working for less than 6 months, So you can work out for yourself how much you can borrow as you presumably know what he earns. The balance of the house purchase will be savings.



If you only have around £10,000 in savings, you will not be buying furniture and baby stuff as well as a house. You will need all that and more for the down payment and closing costs. For everything else you will need to rely on family, Freecycle and charity handouts. Bottom line is that this is not going to work unless bf makes a huge amount of money.

Answer 3

You, at 18, and have many situations that are not in your favor. You apparently have no college or career training. This put you at the bottom of the totem pole in getting a job that would pay well. You are qualified for fast food jobs and retail jobs, These jobs are not in the high wage paying field.



Currently you are not employed, therefore unable to support yourself. You are pregnant and being unemployed yourself, you would not be able to support a baby.



How do you plan to pay for prenatal and postnatal care without a job? This is expensive and you did not indicate you were insured.



Until you are employed you would not be able to contribute to this relationship financially. You might find it difficult finding employment while you are pregnant. Most potential employers would not want to hire you and then be without your services while you are delivering your baby and any potential postnatal care you might need,and the time required



Your boyfriend might qualify for a FHA mortgage loan. The down payment required is normally 3.5%, also there is closing cost that must be paid. Some of the closing cost might be borne by the seller.



Your boyfriend would have to apply for and be approved for a mortgage loan based on his earnings alone.



Why has he had problems buying a house in the past? Is he having credit problems or financial not qualified.Perhaps he should contact a local mortgage lender that is qualified to do FHA mortgage loans and make an application with this mortgage lender.



You might be added to the mortgage loan application as a co-borrower, however since you have no job, you are not able to be of an financial assistance in the purchase of any house. Being on the mortgage loan application would require you to be placed on the title deed to the house.



Where are you currently residing and who take care of the expenses? You indicate you and your boyfriend would save money by moving in together,as both of you would be moving separately.



You have many financial challenges, to overcome, being the age you are and the lack of education in order to find a decent paying job once your pregnancy is complete and is over.



I hope this has been of some benefit to you, good luck.



"FIGHT ON"

Answer 4

Ok here's the deal. YOu never buy anything with someone that isn't going to marry you. Down the line, it becomes a real hassle. If this guy who really doesn't know you very well wants you to buy him a house and not marry you, you need to move on by yourself yet let him be the father to his child. Maybe living together will bring the two or three of you closer but I doubt it. You need to get yourself set up to take care of you and your child. You need to get an education so you can get a good job and you don't do that by borrowing money...you get a scholarship. Your bf is fairly naive to think his money will pay for a down payment. His choices are strange. If you have anyway to take care of yourself during the pregnancy, I'd go it alone or go back to my parents house. You need to know this guy better. Whatever you do, I hope that you do have the baby and give it up if that's what's needed. If you don't, you will regret any other decision for the rest of your life and have to live with it. I really think he sounds fairly young and inexperienced and so do you. Think over your choices carefully. Congratulations and I wish the best for all of you.

Answer 5

You are not buying anything with no job , 18 yrs old with no credit and pregnant means you will not be in any job very long......... so supportive bf will have to rent if he is really being supportive and put his "doesn t believe in renting" belief system out of his head for a few years, Belief systems are great if you can afford them but when you/he made a decision not to use protection and risk you getting pregnant means he has to also adjust his thinking

Answer 6

1. First and foremost - Get married. It is a very bad idea to buy a house with someone to whom you are not married. Things get trickly when you break up because you do not have the rights afforded to married couples during divorces.



2. Get a pre-nup. Since you don't know this man very well, you need to protect yourself & your baby for when the time comes that you get divorced.



3. Rent a small place for the three of you while saving as much as possible for a down payment & closing costs as well as having the equivalwent of 6 months worth of bills set aside in an emergency fund.



4. Get a job, preferably one that has health care benefits so that you and the baby can get proper care.

Answer 7

1st off you won't be able to buy. You have to have a 2 year job history plus a good credit history. Since you are only 18 you don't have the credit needed (since you can't get credit till you are 18). So he will have to qualify on his own. Also it's very hard to get a job while pregnant.

Answer 8

you are three weeks pregnant, you have at least eight months to get your affairs in order in preparation for this event

if the b/f is supportive this is great but jumping into buying a house is not the solution. He might have some money for a down payment and he might be able to swing a mortgage but do not under any circumstances do this together if you are not married

when your relationship is not legalized there is no means to help you when things go sour, and chances are they will

at least when you are married there are legal means to divide between you, not when you are playing house(without marriage)

you need to get a job, need to use this money to prepare for the child unless you eventually put it up for adoption--another opition you have and could be better for the child

Answer 9

Are you sure that you want to do this? You are scared, and that is completely understandable. But moving in with him and having a baby is a big step. You have the right to consider all your options. Many will not like this but you do not need to continue with the pregnancy. You could also give the baby up for adoption. Honestly, I would not trust him.

Answer 10

Well he is obviously a working man with CREDIT because getting a home is hard or you are obviously living in a very and i mean very modest neighborhood because at 18 there is no back story of jobs or credit.

Answer 11

rent a house or apartment together. Or have him buy all by himself. Do not buy with him - you didn't say love at all and I don't think you will stay together. Use as much of the time as you can to find a job or skill or school so you can support yourself (and baby)

Answer 12

You are going to need professional help unless your boyfriend makes over $50,000 per year. And having saved only $9000 that doesn't sound convincing at all. Once the baby is born, you're not going to be making any money because you will have to hire day care while you work -- $12,000 per year -- not practical because at 18 your job prospects for a comfortable wage are not stellar.



All this aside I wish you all the best but you have to be VERY practical about this. You now have a baby to think about. Do not go into this decision without the strength and conviction of the numbers and your boyfriend's complete buy in (get married). You and your boyfriend need to really get it all on paper so that there are NO unexpected expenses. Most divorces / separations occur because of monetary issues. If you can get all the finances squared away then you have a chance of making moving out possible. This is no longer a game. BOTH of you go to a financial ad visor and you really should consider staying with your parents and finishing school or somehow getting a degree. You are going to be heavily reliant on medical care and costs so you need to be on your BF's insurance -- NOW..



https://www.daveramsey.com/company/contact-us CALL THESE PEOPLE. NOW.





A typical home averages $150,000 to own outright. If you get a mortgage, the bank holds the title to the home and you pay interest on a loan for the home. Depending on your interest rate on the loan (e.g. 5%) you will end up paying an additional $100,000 in mortgage interest payments over the life of a 30 year loan. For the first 7 years, the majority of your mortgage payment goes into servicing the interest of the loan -- this is generally more expensive and is essentially the same as paying rent for the first 10 years. Until then you hold all the responsibilities AND liabilities of owning the home while the bank actually owns the property.



When you RENT a property, you have no liabilities of a mortgage and you are free to move around to areas with better school districts for example. The apartment has amenities and maintenance is included. There is NOTHING wrong with renting. The term "Paying rent is throwing money away" was created by mortgage lenders to get more people to take up mortgages. "Paying interest to the bank up front (mortgage payments) is throwing money away" in much the same way.



Paying a mortgage and home ownership (paying rent to the bank and assuming responsibility for liabilities).

1) Majority of payment goes into interest.

2) Bank owns property.

3) Mortgage holder assumes responsibility and risk.

4) Owner is responsible for property taxes, maintenance, insurance and utilities.

5) Value of home is subject to market forces.

6) Difficult to move.

7) Home owners association fee to pay for amenities.

8) Homes are usually larger than comparable apartment / rental housing.

TIP: PAY DOWN AS MANY POINTS AS YOU CAN and look to see what government program benefits are available.



Vs. Paying rent / apartment (Building management assumes most responsibilities)

1) Payment of rent to reside in an apartment complex / condo /home

2) maintenance costs, rent, and often some utilities such as water and sanitation are included

3) Often 1-2 months are free based on special offers / deals.

4) Good apartment complexes have excellent amenities (pool, clubhouse, etc.)

5) Freedom to move to pursue better opportunities (jobs) and school systems.

6) Generally significantly less expensive.

7) Apartments are smaller.



Here are some numbers.

Home ownership with $150,000 mortgage



$1500/mo payment

$300/mo utilities, maintenance, taxes

$150/mo insurance (home / auto)

If you total and add in food, expenses and everything, it easily comes to $2500 per month. With a baby, $3000

To make this all work your total family income needs to exceed $37000 TAKE HOME PAY or roughly $42000 salary.



Renting an apartment:

1) Cost variable ($600-900/mo)

2) $150 Utilities (no taxes or maintenance fees)

3) Renter's insurance $30 per YEAR.

4) Auto insurance ($80/mo)

5) Food / Misc expenses $500-$700. With baby $1000

Total cost is roughly $1900-2300 per month.



To make this work your total family income needs to be at least $30,000 TAKE HOME pay or roughly $35,000 salary.



These are just rough calculations. We don't know where you live and what the costs are in your area.

Think of all the things you would have to pay for, make a list of the potential expenses of mortgage payments or rent.



(There are calculators all over the internet). http://www.trulia.com/rent_vs_buy/



Good luck and please seek PROFESSIONAL advice. It's usually free.

Answer 13

I cannot reassure you of anything. I see disaster ahead. I suggest you get an abortion and finish your education. He is unrealistic about owning a house. $9,000 is nothing. What about closing costs - $5,000+. What about maintenance, utilities, appliances, etc.? House maintenance is huge, on top of the mortgage payment. You cannot contribute much on minimum wage. And, his measly down payment and - older than you tells me enough about him that you both will struggle for a very long time. You have miserable for all of you. I doubt either of you will qualify to buy a house. You don 't seem to have enough knowledge to be realistic. Get an abortion.

Answer 14

Start babysitting for people. Bake cookies and cakes and brownies, and sell them to neighbors and friends. Learn how to do hair, and do that for a living. If you do all three of those things, all at the same time, that will be better than trying one of those things by themselves. Doing all three will be bound to work better than just doing one of them. You could bake cookies for hair clients. You could also tell those hair clients to spread the word that you babysit. That's how you could make more money than just babysitting, or whatever. And, with more success than just babysitting would give you, too. Plus, babysitting would be practice for when your own child is born.

Answer 15

Rent first. Sounds like you have not been with your bf for a long time so there is no way to know if you are truly compatable. The money he has saved will barely get you into a rental, with furnishings, and an emergency fund.

Answer 16

A few months, and you're already pregnant and looking at buying a house?



Terrible idea. Stay at home.

Answer 17

With no job, an unstable mental history, minimal qualifactions, no money , no family support and a short term boyfriend , I'm not convinced parenthood is the best thing for you at this time.

Answer 18

His monthly income must be 3 times the amount of the monthly mortgage

payment. He must have a high credit score and no debt. He must show 2 weeks of

pay stubs to prove his income. He must have the down payment and closing

costs saved, before he applies for a mortgage.

Answer 19

Big mistake getting pregnant by someone that can't support you.

Answer 20

Just get an apartment together! Once you two get married.........then save more for a down payment and buy a house.

Answer 21

I second the termination/adoption alternatives. You don't sound as if you are ready to be a parent.

Answer 22

you have been together for a couple of months and now you are pregnant?



you sure know how to f//k up your life

Answer 23

Don't sign anything. If he is being "so supportive" why aren't you married?

Answer 24

yo get ebt and m.a den when you has da kid get a job at mac donalds

Answer 25

pay for play Skype sessions.. i'll buy

Answer 26

Wow...you messed up.

Answer 27

Lmao stupid *****